The 'N' Word
by Stripes93
Summary: Not that 'N' word, the other one. The one that cuts so deep into the heart of Ludwig that he can't even stand to hear it.


"You're such a Nazi!" Ludwig tensed up as the word left the American's mouth, hands balling up at his sides.

"I am not," Mathew protested quietly, holding his polar bear contently in lap.

"Yes, you are! 'Alfred, don't do that!' 'Alfred, being quiet.' 'Alfred, stop shoving hamburgers in your mouth!'" Alfred mocked his brother, grinning widely. "You are such a Nazi," The German flinched. "Don't deny it!"

"I am not a Nazi!" Mathew said, glancing to the large blond as he quickly made his way out the conference room with a strangled noise in the back of his throat.

"Wonder what's his problem?" Alfred muttered.

Ludwig ran, images flashing through his mind-blood, screams of horror and pain, emaciated children, pleading eyes...Each picture and sound urged him to run faster, tears blocking his vision yet they wouldn't stop, they kept coming. Haunting his mind with each step. "Whoa!" A yell pierced the air as the German ran head on into someone, both men tumbling to the floor. "Hey, West, where's the fire?" His brother asked before noticing the younger nation was trembling, clutching onto his shirt as if his life depended on it. Gilbert hadn't seen him like this since he was a kid.

The white haired man wrapped his arms around his brother, offering comfort while the blond silently cried into his chest. "Ludwig, what's wrong?" He asked gently, brushing a hand through the younger man's hair. "_Bruder_, talk to me." Closing his eyes Gilbert listened as Ludwig began to whisper a few words, repeating them over and over, almost inaudibly. Tilting his head, Gil put his ear closer, listening.

"I'm not a Nazi. I'm not a Nazi. I'm not a Nazi."

"Oh,_ bruder_." Gilbert sighed sympathetically, holding the blond close to him as he stood up. "It's okay, West. It's okay." He told him, watching as Ludwig tilted his head, gazing into his brother's red eyes.

"No, it's not, Gilbert...it will never be okay." He whispered, before burying his face back into the albino's chest, hiding his tears. "They were my people...and I...I killed them." He bit his lip, stopping the loud sob that threatened to spill out his mouth.

"They were my people too, West." Gilbert said, rubbing circles on the blond's back. "But you didn't kill them-"

"Yes, I did!" Ludwig cried, holding onto his brother as though that would make everything better, like Gilbert could make the monsters go away like he did when he was younger. The only problem was...he was the monster here. "I watched them die, I listened to them scream and beg for mercy, even now I can still hear them, still smell the blond on my hands..." He trembled worse than before and Gilbert feared he might have a mental break down if he didn't calm down.

"Ludwig listen," He put his hands on either side of his brother's face and forced him to look up. "Look at me. You didn't kill them. I didn't kill them. _They_ killed them. _He_ did. Not us." He brought their foreheads together, lowering his voice to a whisper. "I hear them too. I lay at night, listening to them calling for help and..." He pursed his lips together and wiped a tear away. "I cry knowing there was nothing I could do for them. I want you to remember, Ludwig, that there was nothing we could do. We don't control the people, we can only hope they do what's right. They fucked up and we can't blame ourselves for that." He placed a kiss on his brother's forehead. "So dry your eyes and remember their blood runs through our veins but does not stain our hands." He grabbed one of Ludwig's hand and squeezed it gently then let it go.

Ludwig sniffled then rubbed his eyes with the back of his arm, nodding his head. He wasn't surprised by his brother's words-yes, Gilbert could have his insane moments(mainly most of the time) but he also had his moments like this; Moments where Ludwig was glad to call Gilbert his brother. "Thank you, _bruder_. I...I needed that."

"No problem, West! That's what I'm here for!" Gilbert smiled at his little brother then ruffled his hair. "I'm also here to kick the ass that made my little brother cry!"

"Brother no!" It was too late though, the albino had already charged a head into the conference room with a cry of 'Alright, who's the asshole that said the 'N' word?'

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><p><em>AN: I don't even know what in the world gave me this inspiration, I just know I wanted to write a fic about how those two would probably react if they hear how the word Nazi is used. I'm pretty sure a lot of you have thrown the word Nazi around-don't deny it, you've all said it at one time or another, I know I have. I've noticed that a lot of people in America-or at least people where I live-throw the word Nazi around like you would throw around the word cat. I know a lot of the time no one really means what they say but I'm pretty sure around the right people it can hurt. I can only imagine what goes through someone's mind when they hear the word Nazi and isn't used to hearing it so casually. I'm sure it's a shock. I apologize for anyone who is even a little offended by this fic but remember, I mean no harm. ~Ciao! Love Stripes!_


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